Dream

– October, 2020 –

I am in a courtyard behind an old stone house nestled on a hillside. In front of me are two swimming pools. Having the place to myself, I strip naked and enter the first. The warm water flows over my skin as I make my way to the second pool beyond. I slide into it, turn around, and sit down on an underwater shelf, spreading my arms along the pool wall behind me. I breathe deeply and look out over the surrounding rooftops and rolling hills beyond. The silence captivates me. I am comfortable here.

.

---

.

I have come to realise that the only place I ever truly inhabit is my own body. It does not matter whether I am living in a mansion or a wooden hut, on a tropical beach or in a crowded city—if my body is storing trauma, I will feel tense and restless wherever I am.

As I continue to acknowledge and heal the parts of myself that have been shut away, an increasing sense of space in the body is emerging. New rooms are being found, and beautiful gardens are being made. My body is no longer the alien, uncomfortable, threatening place that it once was—it is becoming my home.

.